First, I know its been a long time since I have blogged. And I just blogged about the reason why on my Shot of Sharl blog, except I didn't post it to Facebook like I normally do. The gist of that post was I am depressed. After thinking about it and trying to pinpoint the time, I think it started after I stopped exercising (because of my ankle). Of course the obvious answer is to start exercising again (duh, Sharl!) and so I set a time frame to begin and that is today. Not to mention start blogging again. I suppose most people would have started on January 1, the beginning of a brand new year, but I really didn't figure out the depression thing until a couple of weeks ago, and it was like a "Aha!" moment for me.
I still have problems with my ankle so it will have to be baby steps with the exercising, but better some than none. And of course gotta cut back on the eating, especially of sweets which is my downfall. The one good thing is that from the weight I lost this past suummer, I have only gained 2 lbs of it back and have maintained the same weight for months. At least I didn't gain it all back like a lot of people do. It would have been nice to have not even gained the 2 lbs, but hey, ya can't have everything.
Anyway, as for the title of this post, that was another reason why I started thinking about losing weight again. After dying my hair on January 1st, instead of it turning out a pretty medium ash brown like the front of the box said it would, it turned my hair BLACK. Yes, black. Let me just say I do NOT look good with black hair. Everytime I passed a mirror it would shock me to see me with black hair, and all I could think of was there was no way in hell I was going to go to work the next week looking like this.. I was too afraid to even attempt to try to correct it myself lest my hair turn bright orange or worse, all of it fall out, so I made an appointment with a salon to get it fixed. The appointment happened on the 6th, which meant I walked around with this black hair for 5 days, so I stayed pretty close to home so no one I knew would see me. I did have to go to a wrestling meet for Sean Michael and one of his friend's mom saw me and she said she liked it. Um, no.
I get to the hairdresser and she puts me in the seat and you know how there is always a huge mirror in front of you that you really almost have no choice but to look at yourself in it. And maybe it's just me, but my face always looks so fat in one of those mirrors that I think it's actually one of the kind you would see at a circus or fair, you know the kind that make you look distorted one way or another? Well salon mirrors just make your face look fat. (Yes I AM going to keep telling myself that.) Because at home I have nice mirrors that don't do that. I mean yes, my face looks chunky in them and I still have a double chin (which I hate more than anything) but not the way I do in a salon mirror. (Has anyone else noticed that beside me about salon mirrors?)
But, after sitting in the salon for a couple of hours (hair being stripped of black, thank goodness!) and then washed and re-dyed and dried and cut and styled I obviously saw way too much of my fat face. (Though, after all that, the black was gone and a pretty auburnish color in its place and is a very nice color.) Its really too bad that there aren't any exercises you can do to target the face, you know? Because I can almost deal with being overweight if I have a thin face....but that is not the case for me. And I do see overweight women that have really nice faces and no double chins. That just seems unfair to me.
But perhaps after all it was a good thing for me to see myself like that. I probably do look like that in person, no matter what my mirror at home says (however I do like my home mirror the best. lol) because it did galvanize me into retrospection about my downfall of the diet and exercising and the other things I've been feeling and then the conclusion about being depressed. And that I need to fix it.
So maybe a fat face wasn't that bad after all. (Ok, it is really, but here's hoping the next time I go to the salon they get rid of those freak mirrors.)
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