The Last Day of The Year

I have been slacking on the blogs this month, and on my diet too. However, I am happy to say that I have actually lost 2 lbs this month, which, while isn't great, it is better than gaining 2 lbs.  With my mom dying and all, I just haven't been that ambitious about it, and I have got off drinking my 4 glasses of water too.

But a brand new year starts tomorrow and I decided that that would be a new start day to get back in gear and continue what I was doing.  I'm not going to make any resolutions about it as I have decided that my birthday is the time for those as they are the start of a new year for me, but I am going to restart the diet and hopefully actually add some exercise to it also. I will be going home in a few days and it's a good thing Hector can cook now because he can do the cooking for him and Sean Michael so that I don't have to and I can continue my own thing.  At least too I have the treadmill...I just have to force myself into going down to the basement to use it.  But I have come this far and I do not want to undo it, and I know it CAN be done.

So here's to a New Year and to a new me.

Remember:

And I have changed little things, though these past few days have been rough because of Mom dying.  But I will get back on it...I have come too far to let the weight come back and I still want to lose more before I go home.

Great Expectations

Right??

 

Pity Party For One

Okay, I admit it. I made cookies tonight. (Well, I made up the dough and then baked off 5 cookies and put the dough in the fridge for following days.) I know I know. Not good. Especially since it will be only me eating them all. But in my defense, I am feeling depressed with this whole Mom situation.

It isn't easy watching someone slowly die, and then wondering when it is going to happen. Tonight? Next week? Next month?  Every time I go by her room I stop and watch her to make sure she is breathing.  For the past two days she has been in bed sleeping, only being awake long enough to throw up and having a visit from her Pastor this morning. And she lays so still and stays in the same position that I really have to look closely to see if the blankets are moving up and down as she takes a breath.

So with all that, and almost two weeks ago of the same kind of scenario (except she did get up a bit more), it makes me feel sad and helpless and nights are the absolute worst.  I can handle it in the daytime but when the sun goes down, I just get this restless, sickening feeling in my stomach and tonight I decided to make cookies to...to... I don't know.  They tasted good and all of course, but I did feel guilty too.  And admittedly for the past few nights I've had sweet stuff but I ran out so tonight, knowing I had all the ingredients to make chocolate chip pecan cookies, I made them.

Tomorrow though, I am going to make up all the cookies on a cookie sheet and then freeze them, and then put them in little groups on baggies and freeze them.  And hopefully not want to bake them often.  I also thought I would just give myself a break this week until weigh-in day, and then continue.

On the bright side, my aunt brought me hamburger soup (which was kind of like a goulash) and a chopped salad for dinner and while I liked the soup, I really liked the salad, which was by Dole, called Sunshine Salad I think, and it had kale and cabbage and other stuff in it, and little packets of bacon bits and sunflower seeds, and an onion citrus dressing. It was so good and I think I will buy a couple more bags of it and have it with chicken for meals.

I also have kept up with the water, drinking at least 64 every day, and only missing a day or two since I started. So that's something anyway.

In the meantime, as far as the sweets go, I suppose we could call it a little pity party for me this week. And after the weigh-in, no more.

Sounds About Right

Goal!!

I made the first goal that I was hoping for. I have lost 20 lbs now since I have been here in California, and while I don't notice a difference really, the scale does say otherwise.

Here's to my second goal.

Almost There

I am almost down to my first goal, 1 lb to go. Though I probably blew that today because I had two coffees, beans and ham and fried potatoes (Man they were good!!) for dinner that the next door neighbor brought over, and oatmeal raisin cookies with milk for a snack.  I know I shouldn't have, but with this whole Mom situation, sometimes I just gotta eat.

Tomorrow I will do better.

This Is Harder To Do...

...when your life is turning upside down. And there is not a dang thing you can do about it.

Another Day

The end of October and I'm not where I wanted to be but of course I only have myself to blame.  I guess I should be happy though that I did lose some weight and losing slower is better than losing faster because the faster you lose the faster you gain it all back and then some.

Weighed In....

And I lost a pound. ***sigh*** But I guess it is better than not losing anything. And I didn't really try my hardest this past week but I gotta get with it. I plan on being a lot lighter by the time I go back home.

Today I didn't drink a whole lot of water either, I only drank one glass = 16oz.  Yeah that isn't good.

However I have gotten this far and I am going farther.

And I have GOT to get on the exercise wagon. I wish I had someone to walk with which would make it so much easier to do it.  But since I don't, I have to set my mind to doing it by myself. Man I wish I was one of those people who like to sweat. lol

That would Be Nice

 

I can dream can't I?

I Keep telling Myself

I'm really trying to imagine six months from now.

So I'm not stopping.

So Far, So Good

I've kept up with the water, which has been good.

And I've been very good about not going crazy and eating. Tonight I made a pork stir-fry and rice, and I didn't have any of the rice.

So there we go...let's keep it up.

Weigh-In!

I weighed in this morning and I lost 3 lbs from last Thursday.  Woohoo! I think part of it must be all that water I'm drinking this week. Just got to keep it up.

Today I had a powerful craving for chocolate and so I went to See's:

But, I only bought TWO pieces. Yes, TWO.  I know if I bought a box I would be in trouble but two pieces would be manageable, which surprisingly they were.  Technically I ate three pieces because they always offer you one when you go into the store,  and I couldn't be rude and refuse, right?   At any rate, they did satisfy my craving and I was actually good to go.  Who knew?  They even gave me extra pieces but I gave them to Mom, who needs them much more than I do, and even though they are in the fridge now, I really don't have a yen for them.

For a snack tonight, I had an apple and almond butter again and water. And I'm good.

Let's keep this up shall we?

Snack Time

Actually, this was my dinner:

May not look exactly appetizing, but it was a honeycrisp apple with almond butter.  It was really tasty and healthy.

And I'm still hitting that 64 oz mark with the water.

Water, Water, Water

So, one of the most important things about a diet is supposed to be water, and starting Sunday I have been trying my best to drink it.  This glass holds 2 cups (or 16 oz), so I have to drink at least 4 of them a day to get the required 64  ounces:

Sunday I drank 48 ounces.

Yesterday I upped it to 80 ounces. Yes, 80.

Today I will hit the 64oz,  (I still have that last 10 oz or so to go).

It isn't really that hard to do, but as I'm not one to just gulp down drinks, it does take all day to get it all down.  Yesterday I started drinking it as soon as I got up so that last 16oz was a bonus drink.

Today I didn't start until late afternoon which is something I really need to stop doing because when I'm drinking it this late, that means I'm going to be up a lot during the night to pee.  Oh what fun.

Anyways, there is one habit I've started. Hopefully.

The Start of a New Week

Yeah....enough said for today.

Thursday Weigh-in

I know I haven't said lately how I'm doing. Hmmm...wonder why?  Truthfully, I'm kind of on an even keel.  Though last week I had lost 5 lbs which I was really happy about, but then I ate and gained 4 back.  Ah well, you lose some, you gain some.

Anyway, I have been weighing myself every Thursday starting on October 1, and last week like I said I had lost 5 lbs but this week I gained the 4 back. It is so much easier if I don't go anywhere to eat.  Because Saturday we went to a friend of  Mom's for dinner and it was just so good.  And then this week is kind of crazy too, but, after Mom's birthday this Saturday, everything should be back to normal and I should be able to get back on what I had in my plans.

Today I went grocery shopping and bought lots of veggies and salad stuff, and I'm going to make out my menus so that I have something to stick too. I have already made notes about what foods to eat, now I just need to look up calorie counts and add them up so I can make up a final menu.  Once I have it in writing where I can look at it, it's much easier to actually follow a diet. 

Now if I can just convince myself to exercise!!

This Should Be My Mantra

 

 

If only it didn't go so slowly....

 

If Only....

 

If  only I could get it started...

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

Exactly!!

I Did Resist

I had no Starbucks today. I made coffee here this morning and that was it. Tomorrow though, I will because I have a reward that expires and I'm sure not going to waste it.

But today, none.

Remember when...

36-22-36 was the absolute figure to have?  I can remember when I was a lot younger that was a figure that was thrown out there that was the perfect measurements to have.  Admittedly I never had it exactly, but I did have the 36-22 part, except the hips were probably more like 34 or something, which of course was still a good figure to have, not to mention I wore a size 7.

I don't think I will ever see those numbers again for me. Actually I am pretty sure I won't see those numbers again.  Or weighing 120 lbs.  130 would be really nice, heck even 140, and I wouldn't even mind staying at 150.  And no size 7s.

Nowadays though, according to a Dr. Oz show I watched a couple of weeks ago, it really seems that normal sizes are more like  12 and 14, and not the size 0 that models seem to be.  I would be happy wearing a size 12 or 14 compared to what I wear now.  I've never wanted to be a size 0, but being even a 14...yeah that would make me happy. I think I heard somewhere that for every 10 lbs you lose, you lose a size, which means I would have -- lbs to lose (what....you think I'm going to tell you how much? Ummm....no.)  On the other hand too, three designers could make a size 14 dress and they would still be different sizes.  You would think it would be a size 14 period and fit a size 14, but no, it doesn't work like that.  Weird. Because then what size are you really wearing??

Anyway. At the moment, I haven't done too badly, though, I still can't kick my Starbucks habit.  Grrrrr.  I have really got to make my pumpkin spice sauce so that I can make it here at home, because I think the one reason (ok, we know that's not true...I just love my Starbucks) is that I want an iced coffee, and I can only make myself a hot cup of coffee here.  I don't mind a hot cup of coffee after dinner (I have GOT to buy some decaf) but I really prefer iced in the morning, especially since it is still warm here (of course I still drink my iced even when it's cold outside so go figure).

Today I haven't had any sweets (except of course my coffee) and last night I made the rest of the cookies from the freezer (oh wait...I didn't tell you I bought some Friday night, did I? Drats!) so I don't have any to eat.  I do still have the Weight Watcher fudgesicles and 100 calorie popcorn if I need something.  Oh and today I measured out a mile in the park here so I know how far to walk to get that dreaded exercise in.  I can hardly wait to do that. (Not)

Oh to be a size 14 again....

Day 1 (again)

Okay, so today didn't go exactly as planned. I did go to Starbucks but only because I was taking Mom to the hospital for a CT and I hadn't coffee yet at home, nor did I buy my pumpkin sauce stuff yet. Then, after the CT, she was hungry and wanted to stop and have Mexican food. I really would have been okay just going home and having the salad I had planned on, but she wanted food now.  So we went to her favorite restaurant (which was conveniently right there when she said she was hungry) and I ordered their veggie quesadilla, which I only ate half of and not the whole thing, and water to drink instead of Sangria or wine.  I did eat some chips but fortunately they don't give you a huge amount and Mom ate some too, and I didn't even get guacamole with it, though I got a little container of it with my quesadilla, and even then I didn't eat all of it.

We didn't get home till 4 so that meal really counted as lunch and dinner, but around 9ish I made up the rest of the oatmeal raisin cookie dough in the freezer.  Might as well get that over with, right?  No more temptation in the freezer like that, though I do have Weight Watchers fudgesicles in there. But at least they are only 100 calories if I need something sweet.

Tomorrow we are going out with Mom's friend to an Italian restaurant, and we know that food isn't great for a diet.  But if I have salad and only eat half of whatever I order, I should be okay.  And skip the bread too. And water to drink and no dessert.

I have really got to get off my butt though and start walking. I know I should go to the gym but I feel self-conscious about it. We'll see though, I haven't ruled it out. But I know I can't just do this by diet alone.

So hello eating less.

Welcome, exercise.

Hi losing inches.

Greetings, will power.

It's going to work this time, right?

Going Out With A Bang

Two iced pumpkin spice lattes, steak, garlic and pepper fries, salad, oatmeal cookies and milk.

So long Starbucks (except to redeem my 8 rewards). I will miss you.

Ciao cookies. And cake. And ice cream. ***sigh***

Goodbye potatoes and rice and everything nice.

But it will be worth it. Right??

Yes I Did....

Have a cookie that is. Well, actually 4 of them, with milk. But, they were oatmeal raisin walnut, so that makes them healthy, right?  And oatmeal is supposed to help you sleep, too.  So all around a good cookie to have.

Okay maybe not, seeing as it does have sugar.  But starting Oct 1, no more sweets except on occasion, along with my Starbucks.  That one will be the worse to give up, even though I will make my own here.  Man I hope it will taste good....

Doing....Okay.....

It's been a while since I've written on here but I am happy to say that, while I haven't lost any more weight, I haven't gained too much either.  I could have still been losing but then I went to San Diego last weekend and well, let's say I didn't stick to a diet. I ate and drank more than I should have, and when I came home and weighed myself, it was oh crap. I had gained back about 4 lbs. Though, the food and drink was pretty darn good so it was worth it (?). 

And then last week I didn't really watch what I ate but I didn't go crazy either, so I managed to lose a couple of those pounds. 

This past weekend was my 40th reunion, and I wasn't the only one who had gained a lot of weight through the years.  But on the other hand, there were a lot who still looked really good and almost just as thin as they were in high school. ***sigh***

So this week I am back on the bandwagon and had lost another pound this morning, which is promising.  Although right now I really really want a cookie. Really. I did buy frozen cookie dough today but once that is gone, no more.  And September is almost over and then so is my Starbucks (well, except my rewards. NOT going to give those up!)  I am going to be making my own pumpkin spice coffee and it will have way less calories. (But man I know I am going to miss Starbucks.)

Anyway,  that is my update. And I am still resolved to do this. Now I just have to get my butt down to that gym...

No More Cookies

Since there was left-over cookie dough, I made them up tonight and gave Mom four of them, and then I had four, and there were too left.  I told Mom to hide them and eat them because I don't want to be tempted and I'm not making anymore for a while.  Much easier to resist if they aren't around.

Went shopping with Janie today and admittedly I had 2 Starbucks...2 too many, or at least 1 too many.  But we had a late lunch/early dinner at Panera's and I had a Cobb Salad with Avocado, which was 640 calories I think (according to the calorie count next to the salad on the menu board). It also came with a baguette and at first I wasn't going to eat it, because of the calories and the carbs, but, well....  On the other hand I didn't finish the salad or the baguette, and I had water to drink.

So technically not a great diet day, but I will do better tomorrow. I won't be going anywhere (well, except to get my ONE Starbucks),(and maybe to the store to get salad stuff and veggies), there isn't any cookie dough to make up, and I will just behave food-wise.

Yes, yes I will.

Mom Wanted Cookies...

So tonight I made some snickerdoodles for her.  Yes, I ate a few too. I mean how can you resist cookies right out of the oven with a glass of cold milk? If you can you are a much better person than I am.

But.  I have been doing really well on the diet front and this is the first time I have had cookies in a while, or anything sweet for that matter. I have been eating good and my only splurge has been my Starbucks in the morning, which I wouldn't even be doing that if it weren't for the star dash: I have to get 15 drinks between September 1 -30, before 11am, and then get a bonus 20 stars for it. And well I can't resist the challenge and those 20 extra stars which translate into almost 2 free drinks.  If I were at home and going to work it would be a really easy thing to beat in 2 weeks, but here is a little of a challenge to get up and make myself go out of the house when I don't really want to until later.  Right now I am up to the 7th star I think, so I have 8 to go. I know I still have 20 more days to get the 8, but I am a just-get-it-over-with gal so that's what I'm doing. (Oooops! I just looked back at my other posts and realized I already went over this here....ooops!)

Of course I can't swear I will stop Starbucks when I get my 15 drinks, but on the other hand I do figure it into my calorie count so I am good there.  But it would be better to cut back and just drink coffee at home.  And calorie-wise I haven't been counting them down to the wire but am keeping a loose track of them (yes I am being honest about it to myself) and I have been really trying

The only problem I am having, and I am sure you can guess it, is that pesky exercise stuff.  Why is my brain-set on that so stubborn NOT to do them??  I wish I could kick myself in the butt and make myself do it.  Grrrrrrrr.

As always though, I'm not giving up.  I have already cut back on the eating, so the exercising will come next. It WILL.

Anyone else want to give me a kick in the butt??

I Resisted

Tonight for dinner Mom wanted Chinese food and I was starving and thinking ok, this once won't hurt if I have Chinese and so I went to go get the food and then I went to SaveMart and bought a zucchini, thinking I could make an omelet tomorrow with it.  When I came home I gave her her food, and then I made myself an omelet with veggies in it.  Now I do admit I ate one of the ribs that came with her meal and it was really good, but other than that I was a good girl and  I just ate my omelet and drank my glass of milk.

On a good day I do not really care for Chinese food but today because I was hungry it really looked good and she certainly had enough to share. And let me just say the price was pretty phenomenal too: $7.95 for three full size ribs, a good size helping of almond chicken chowmein and pork fried rice.  Plus the requisite fortune cookie of course. Anyway, a lot of food for the money, and she still had a lot of leftovers she can have for lunch.

And tonight sitting here I wanted something sweet to eat and there is ice cream in the freezer (no, I did not buy it, a friend of Mom's did) so I got out the vanilla and really after just a few bites I was fine and put it back.  Now believe me that is something.  Then again maybe it was because it was just vanilla and I'm not a big fan.  I usually like something with nuts, like Rocky Road or Baskin Robbin's Nutty Coconut or Pralines-n-Cream or Jamocha Almond Fudge, stuff like that.  Pretty sure if those had been in the freezer I would have eaten them in a heartbeat.  But I am really trying not to buy sweets to have at night as that is my biggest downfall.  Just the other day Mom said she wanted me to buy Snickerdoodle cookie mix to make cookies. Oh yeah that's a GREAT idea. Not.  I don't have a good track record with cookies.  I'll just have to buy her cookies she likes that I don't.

So, so far so good. I've resisted.

(Pssst....did I tell you Pumpkin Spice Lattes come out tomorrow?)

One Downfall After Another....

Well, not quite really.  More like no will power to stave it off.  You see, Starbucks sent me this challenge (they send different ones every so often), and it consists of going to Starbucks 15 times  between September 1st and the 30th before 11am, which you know is easy peasy for me, and then you receive 20 extra stars.  And I am such a sucker for extra stars.

If that isn't enough, Friday starts the Pumpkin Spice Latte Season, which we wait months for.  Nothing like that first Pumpkin Spice Latte!  I really had planned on drinking coffee here at home, even bought some pods of regular coffee to go with the creamer, and save a lot of calories.  I did see in a news video today how to make my own pumpkin syrup and how to make the latte myself, but I don't think it really saves calories.  Though, I wonder if I tried it with almond milk which has very few calories, as a lot of the calories have to do with the milk. Hmmmm.

Anyway, what's a girl to do, you know? Yeah yeah I know...a girl doesn't. She sticks to her original plan.

But TWENTY extra stars.....Pumpkin Spice Latte......



 

A Plan Worked Out

Okay, this morning I weighed in and believe it or not, I have lost 8 lbs since I have been here.  Now 8 might not seem a lot, but considering I have been here 3 1/2 weeks, that is a good loss.  So it really got me to thinking about staying on track and not eating a lot, yet still having to feed my mother who does need to eat and gain  her strength back and gain some weight.

At dinner I told her she needed to think of what she would want to eat when I am trying to only eat a salad or even a smoothie sometimes for dinner.  Last night I made an omelet with veggies in it and a little cheese and it kept me full which is one reason I like eggs a lot.  So I plan on having eggs a couple of times a week, and while I like that, I know Mom is going to get bored with it. 

I still plan on having regular dinners 2 or 3 times a week, chicken and veggies or sweet potato,  etc,  but the other times I want to eat/drink lightly.  Mom was agreeable to it and is thinking of different things she could eat when I don't cook, and then I won't feel guilty about just having a salad or whatever while she is having what she likes.

So a plan has been worked out. 

***crosses fingers***

That Swim Thing?

Yeah...it hasn't worked out so great.  I did go out in the pool on Friday when Janie and Vanessa and Jeanna came over and played around out there but I wouldn't exactly call that exercise. Just something about going to the pool by myself I guess. This week it is supposed to get cooler, still in the 90s but the lower 90s I think.  Who knows though, I may surprise myself and go out there. We'll see. (Which in mom speak usually means no. lol)

Thursday though I did get a bit of a workout by cleaning house and cleaning the carpet. Better than nothing, you know?  And I haven't been eating a lot a lot, either.  I know that exercise is key to the whole thing and that is where I suck at. 

If I lost weight by thinking of losing weight as much as I do, I would be thin by now.

***sigh***

Did I Make It To The Pool?

No. No I did not.

But tomorrow is another day.

"Pooling" Around

Was in the pool today with Vanessa and her little girl Jeanna:

And it made me think of exercising in the pool again and the resistance of water, etc, and how it doesn't really seem like work but more like fun and much more doable.  I didn't really do any today, just played around, but it did get me thinking more about it.

So tonight I googled pool exercises and came up with a few that I am going to try:

Those are just the beginning stances of the exercise I am going to try out, starting tomorrow. Now I wish I had brought more bathing suits with me because I only have one here with me, but it will do since I hadn't really planned this before I came out. Hopefully it will stay warm for a while longer so I can get into this even though I still have Plan B and go to that gym.

Food-wise I only ate once today and I actually made coffee this morning, but...went to Starbucks after dinner.  Ooops. (Though I only had a grande.)   And I had Baskin Robbins a while ago.  Double ooops.  Fortunately the ice cream is gone so I won't be tempted to have anymore, and we really don't have any junk food around to snack on. (I don't need to go to the store to buy anything except creamer for coffee and maybe milk, I just need to go straight to the back of the store to grab those without going through any aisles. Good luck on that, right?)

So we'll see. Again. Tomorrow I plan on making it a smoothie day and figure out something for Mom to eat for dinner. It can be done. Right? Right.

Have a swimmingly great  day....I am. 

All is Well....sorta.....

So I have been here for two weeks and 3 days and have managed not to go crazy food wise, though I admit to a slip-up here and there (Baskin Robbins ice cream anyone?).  And it is a little harder since I have to feed Mom actual food so that she will gain weight when I need to lose it.  I have tried  to just make a protein and veggie and stay away from the starches. Last night though we had chicken from Boston Market with mashed potatoes and corn and a squash casserole, so I sorta blew it there with the starch and carbs. Oooops. And tonight we had grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato rice soup....yeah....I know.....

However, I have not been eating or snacking during the day at all, except I have had my Starbucks which is something I need to stop doing again and just having coffee here.  Such a hard habit to break...love my iced-quad-venti-upside-down-in-and-out caramel macchiato.

What I would love to do is just have a smoothie day every other day but then I have to think what am I going to feed Mom, and what will she eat since she has a hard time with eating anyway. Which is frustrating  so it makes everything out of whack for me.  Yeah this has been a blast. Not.

In terms of exercising I think may just start going out to the pool and exercise in it; its pretty good resistance and while getting it done, even if you sweat, you don't know because you're in a pool.  Going to google pool exercises and see what I come up with (besides swimming of course).  I figure it is still going to be pretty warm here for a while and might as well use the pool while I can, and then go to the gym down the street.

So nope I am not giving up (how old is this blog again?). 

Hey...Let's Try It Here....

Well since I am here in California unexpectantly, I was thinking it might even be a little easier to do the diet thing here because I don't have to cook for the guys and I can actually eat lighter. Yes, Mom need to be fed, and has the exact opposite problem of me and needs to gain weight (gee I wish I had that problem), but still I think I can work it out because she doesn't eat as much as the guys so I don't have to cook as much. I can make salads for me and put chicken in them and Mom can have the chicken and something a little heavier than salad. Anyway, I think this has merit. I have been here by myself for a few days while Mom is in the hospital and I have actually done pretty well in the diet department, so that is encouraging.

The next thing I may do is go to the gym that is only 3/10 of a mile from here. Hector went to it when he was here and the nice thing is you don't have to join it, you can just pay a $29 per month fee and go as many times as you want. I could also go swimming in the pool and get some exercise in there, so while I sweat I cool off too. I like that idea.

Anyway, gonna try it here. No, I'm going to DO it here. Here we go.....

My 600 Lb Life

Ok, the title is not me. It is actually a TV show about people who weigh more than 600 lbs and they get a gastric bypass and they are followed around for a year to see how their progress goes. I happened to find it one night when I was flipping channels and then ended up watching about 3 or 4 shows in a row in fascination.

The thing that really struck me were most of them were really whiny and had excuse after excuse as to why they couldn't lose the weight and would outright lie to the doctor that they were doing what they were supposed to, yet the cameras showed them eating exactly what they were eating that caused them to gain the weight in the first place. One girl ate bean sandwiches! She poured a can of beans on white bread and ate it. Ummm....nooooo. The kicker to the whole show was though that NONE of them lost all that much weight after the bypass, and a year later still weighed way over 300 lbs if not over 400. And again the camera showed them eating what they ate before.

I was like why would they do that?? They went through all that pain to have the surgery and said they didn't want to be so fat anymore, but then they still go back to it. I can think of two people I know personally who had it done 2 or 3 years ago and they lost weight pretty quickly and to this day are still at a good weight for their heights. So I look at these people of this show in and think they really need to stop the whining and do what the doctor and the nutritionist (that the doc sets them up with) says. Granted I don't care for the doctor on the show, he seems very impersonal and just not very likeable, which I think for the job he is doing you would think he wouldn't be like that. Go figure.

I don't make any excuses or whine about my weight...it is my fault and I know it.

But man I don't want to weigh 600 lbs......

Yesterday:

45 minutes on the treadmill
1.86 miles
Weight workout for about 15 minutes

Funny thing about not pushing myself...I tend to push myself. Today...2 miles or more?

And We're Off!

So yesterday I finally did it: I got on the treadmill. After running some errands and then taking a little nap, I decided that yes, I need to get on the treadmill. I usually can talk myself out of it pretty easily, but I guess my mind just clicked in and decided that now was the time, and downstairs I went.

At first I thought I would just do half an hour on it, since after all I haven't been on it forever and I need to work my way up, but in the end I did 45 minutes and 1 1/2 miles. Of course that really isn't a whole lot and not a terribly fast speed, but it is better than nothing, and also I don't want to screw up my ankle like I did last time which I think was partly was because I was pushing it.

After I got off the treadmill, I used our weight machine (I have no idea what it is called) and I did 4 different upper body exercises of 12 reps 3 times. You can also do leg ones but I know that was probably the main reason I messed my ankle up so I didn't even try that.

Anyway, I did about an hour's worth of exercise and felt pretty good afterwards. I also downed 2 16 oz glasses of water when I was finished as I am trying to up my water drinking, and I didn't even end up peeing all night which was nice. Though on the flip side I didn't sleep very well and was awake a lot and I don't know why...I'm not sure if it was because I exercised at 5:30 and it gave me more energy, or if it was just something else.

All in all, I'm glad I got off my butt and went on the treadmill. And as weird as it is for me to say, I am actually looking forward to going home today after work and getting back on it. I still wish I was more of a morning person so that I would be raring to get on it first thing, but I know me and I know that isn't going to happen.

Oh well...one treadmill step at a time.

Yeah, Well....

I suppose I should admit to not much progress has been made, but on the bright side I am getting better about eating better and cutting down on the sweets.

My biggest problem is the exercising part....I just cannot seem to motivate myself to do it. And I know that is the main thing I really need to be doing. I could use the excuse it is getting to be summer here and that means hot, but truthfully it's just because I don't like doing it. Winter, spring, summer or fall, I wouldn't like it.

I think I need a brain reboot to make me love exercise, or at least like it some. I know it does make one feel better when they have exercised, but apparently that isn't enough to make me want to.

I also think part of it is that it seems like you can put on weight in no time at all, but taking it off takes forever and is so hard to do that it feels like everything you're doing is never going t amount to anything. Logically of course in the end you will be thinner, but dang it takes so long and it's so hard to stick with it.

However, I am sticking with it. One way or another.

Yep...one way or another.

Why oh Why?

I want to be thin....I really do. Then why oh why is it so hard to stick with it??

I am trying, though admittedly not hard enough. I have improved my eating somewhat, but admittedly not enough. I haven't started to exercise, which is something I really need to get with.

So I know all these things, and yet getting my mind completely wrapped around it is difficult. I suppose to a certain extent I am addicted to food, which unlike drugs and alcohol, you DO need in your life. Of course I'm not where I have to eat all the time, but being on a diet does make me think of food so much more than usual, like I have said here before. On the other hand, I don't find myself as hungry when I am at home as I do here in the office, which I attribute to boredom, and that is a problem I need to fix somehow, even when we have no work.

Yesterday though I did print off a weekly meal planner that also include snacks, and have written out a list for things for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. That is especially important for being here at work so I do have food to eat and not be starving. For dinners I am going to pretty much stick with salads with chicken, or things like fish and veggies, etc. Sounds rather boring I know, but it is just easier that way, on me anyway. Don't know about the guys, they'll just have to suck it up, though Hector does want to lose weight too so this should work for him.

Speaking about meals, I am actually going grocery shopping today after work. I can hardly wait...not. I do have a list almost finished, lots of veggies and fruit and fish and chicken on that list too. I will say shopping at the commissary is a lot easier than shopping in a store, say like Wegmans, who has so much in it, like a whole big cheese and wine sections and take-out food section and a really great bakery, etc, not to mention different foods than what the commissary carries. I love going to Wegmans, but while doing this it is better to stay outta there.

This weekend I am going to a wedding so food-wise....we'll see how it goes. And how good the wedding cake is. :-)

But, at least I am still trying and not giving up. I have a ways to go, but I will get there. I will.

Grocery Shopping

Now as much as I do love to eat, I hate to shop for food. And I'm not crazy about having to cook it, either. I didn't use to mind either chore but as I got older I really don't enjoy it. Sometimes I think if I had a great kitchen I might like cooking again, but since I don't, I don't. And then when you are on a diet and counting calories, you have to be careful of what you are putting in your dishes because calories can add up fast, which means in the end I make pretty simple, boring food.

So yesterday I broke down and went grocery shopping and bought simple, boring food. Plenty of vegetables, some fruit and some meat, and I didn't buy any junk food. If it isn't in the house, I won't be able to eat it, and my downfall is sweets. I'm really trying to stick with a lot of salads and when I have meat, have it with a lot of veggies and not starches. When I was a kid, my mom always had a meat, a starch, (potatoes, rice, etc.) and a veggie and salad, and when I was on my own I just seemed to follow on that path too. Trying to break out of it is kind of hard to do, but at least I do like vegetables which is a good thing.

I definitely had to make out a plan for all my meals and snacks to help this along. Even though today I didn't follow my plan, which included breakfast and lunch and I only had breakfast but around 10ish, and I did not even bring lunch. I need to get into the habit of having my breakfast as soon as I get to work and to make my lunch the night before so all I have to do is grab it and take it with me. Right now I am hungry but will have to wait until I get home to eat something, and I don't want to fall into this pattern. I need to eat 6 small meals as that really does work for me and keeps me full and not thinking about food all the time.

Being bored at work doesn't help either; we're pretty slow around here at the moment and so I could easily eat my way through it. Except not have any food which today I don't so that worked out. This would be a good time to have a treadmill in here, except there is no AC in the building so that would get pretty warm in no time. I will say this morning coming to work it was nice and cool and I actually felt like going to the track here on base and get in my walking, but I have to be in at 7. On the other hand, I probably could get away with it....I might give it a go.

Forgive the rambling....this post was just more of talking to myself than anything.

On The Verge....

I'm still in the planning stages of this diet-to-be (well, it sounds good anyway...lol) and truth be told, I still haven't gone grocery shopping which is something that needs to done to get this moving along. Fortunately I do like the kind of things I need to buy, like vegetables and fruit, however with the fruit here you never know if you are going to get a nice tasty piece or something that tastes like nothing which doesn't make it want to be eaten. I guess we'll just to see how the fruit eating goes.

But the plan is to start on the ever-clichéd Sunday and go from there. I need to put this down on paper so I have a tangible plan and not wing it because that would spell trouble. And a plan to keep me full so that I am not always thinking about food. That is the part of a diet that is especially hard...you think about all the things you can't/aren't supposed to have, whereas when you aren't on a diet, well at least me, I don't think of food nearly as often.

Anyway, I'm still with the program, or the program that is to be.

And I'm still blogging. So far.

Not Yet

No, I haven't started a diet yet. I know I know. Bad Sharl. But in my defense (and you know I have one), it's because of my birthday cake that has one piece left in the fridge:

I mean, how can I not eat that? Yum!!

And lately for some reason I have been in such a cake mood, which is something I normally am not. Usually if I make a cake here (unless it is my lemon coconut cake) we might eat only half and then throw away the other half. Now my lemon coconut cake, we eat that till it's gone....we've even been know to eat a piece for breakfast, its that good. Anyway, being in a cake mood certainly isn't good for trying to diet and I need to get out of it pronto.

On the other hand, I haven't gone crazy eating because, well, there is nothing in this house to eat. Seeing as I was gone a month, the guys did as little grocery shopping as possible, and so of course I came home to an empty freezer and fridge and pantry. In a way that does it make easier not to eat though, except for that darn cake. But after tonight that will be gone and I will have to think of other things besides cake.

So now I need to sit down and make up a menu for all my meals, then a grocery list, and then go grocery shopping. That will be a start anyway.

On to exercise.....

Starting A New Year

This is definitely my main resolution to keep on the first day of my 58th (or really is the 59th?) year.

LOSE WEIGHT.

I am tired of looking at my fat face and body in pictures and I really need to do something about it. Of course I say that all the time and nothing changes. But it has to start sometime and turning 58 is as good as time as any.

Wish me luck. Again.