Why oh Why?

I want to be thin....I really do. Then why oh why is it so hard to stick with it??

I am trying, though admittedly not hard enough. I have improved my eating somewhat, but admittedly not enough. I haven't started to exercise, which is something I really need to get with.

So I know all these things, and yet getting my mind completely wrapped around it is difficult. I suppose to a certain extent I am addicted to food, which unlike drugs and alcohol, you DO need in your life. Of course I'm not where I have to eat all the time, but being on a diet does make me think of food so much more than usual, like I have said here before. On the other hand, I don't find myself as hungry when I am at home as I do here in the office, which I attribute to boredom, and that is a problem I need to fix somehow, even when we have no work.

Yesterday though I did print off a weekly meal planner that also include snacks, and have written out a list for things for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. That is especially important for being here at work so I do have food to eat and not be starving. For dinners I am going to pretty much stick with salads with chicken, or things like fish and veggies, etc. Sounds rather boring I know, but it is just easier that way, on me anyway. Don't know about the guys, they'll just have to suck it up, though Hector does want to lose weight too so this should work for him.

Speaking about meals, I am actually going grocery shopping today after work. I can hardly wait...not. I do have a list almost finished, lots of veggies and fruit and fish and chicken on that list too. I will say shopping at the commissary is a lot easier than shopping in a store, say like Wegmans, who has so much in it, like a whole big cheese and wine sections and take-out food section and a really great bakery, etc, not to mention different foods than what the commissary carries. I love going to Wegmans, but while doing this it is better to stay outta there.

This weekend I am going to a wedding so food-wise....we'll see how it goes. And how good the wedding cake is. :-)

But, at least I am still trying and not giving up. I have a ways to go, but I will get there. I will.

Grocery Shopping

Now as much as I do love to eat, I hate to shop for food. And I'm not crazy about having to cook it, either. I didn't use to mind either chore but as I got older I really don't enjoy it. Sometimes I think if I had a great kitchen I might like cooking again, but since I don't, I don't. And then when you are on a diet and counting calories, you have to be careful of what you are putting in your dishes because calories can add up fast, which means in the end I make pretty simple, boring food.

So yesterday I broke down and went grocery shopping and bought simple, boring food. Plenty of vegetables, some fruit and some meat, and I didn't buy any junk food. If it isn't in the house, I won't be able to eat it, and my downfall is sweets. I'm really trying to stick with a lot of salads and when I have meat, have it with a lot of veggies and not starches. When I was a kid, my mom always had a meat, a starch, (potatoes, rice, etc.) and a veggie and salad, and when I was on my own I just seemed to follow on that path too. Trying to break out of it is kind of hard to do, but at least I do like vegetables which is a good thing.

I definitely had to make out a plan for all my meals and snacks to help this along. Even though today I didn't follow my plan, which included breakfast and lunch and I only had breakfast but around 10ish, and I did not even bring lunch. I need to get into the habit of having my breakfast as soon as I get to work and to make my lunch the night before so all I have to do is grab it and take it with me. Right now I am hungry but will have to wait until I get home to eat something, and I don't want to fall into this pattern. I need to eat 6 small meals as that really does work for me and keeps me full and not thinking about food all the time.

Being bored at work doesn't help either; we're pretty slow around here at the moment and so I could easily eat my way through it. Except not have any food which today I don't so that worked out. This would be a good time to have a treadmill in here, except there is no AC in the building so that would get pretty warm in no time. I will say this morning coming to work it was nice and cool and I actually felt like going to the track here on base and get in my walking, but I have to be in at 7. On the other hand, I probably could get away with it....I might give it a go.

Forgive the rambling....this post was just more of talking to myself than anything.