After reading articles about people who are extremely heavy and watching numerous episodes of "My 600lb Life" and hearing the excuses as to how and why they got to be the weight they are, I have to wonder why they don't just admit the actual truth: They like food and like to eat.
While I suppose some really do have issues or believe they do, for most it really boils down to that they love food. Because you know what? That is why I am as heavy as I am....I love food, especially sweets. And dislike exercise. Immensely.
Oh I can hear it now: "You've never experienced what I have!" "You don't know what I've been through!"
Well guess again...I have been through stuff. A lot. I was molested several times when I was around 11-12 by our pastor's brother-in-law, a man who went to our church and was well liked and had 3 sons and a daughter (all grown...he was 44) and no one suspected a thing. It started out with me just having an innocent crush on him and he took advantage of it. Being only 11, I was confused and never even thought of telling anyone for some reason. But it really didn't affect me and once it stopped I didn't think about it often. I have no idea if he ever molested any other girls, or if it was just me. I remember his daughter, who was married and had a child, always seemed loving to him as a daughter so I would assume he never tried anything with her. But many years later we heard that he had committed suicide and I often wondered why...did he feel guilty for what he done to me and maybe others? He was a recovered alcoholic when we knew him but also heard he had started drinking again, so maybe that was why. In any case, I was sorry that he had killed himself and hope it wasn't because of me because I was all right. And to this day, I have only told two people (my two closest friends) about this because we just happened to be talking about that sort of thing. I never told my mom or dad or anyone else...I figure why make them feel bad that they didn't know about it to be able to prevent it.
If that isn't enough for you, I had thyroid cancer at the age of 24, I have been through three crap marriages, with a lot of emotional and verbal and physical abuse in the second one, my son has been in and out of childrens' psychiatric hospitals and then in and out of jails and prisons his whole adult life, add to all that my daughter's motorcycle accident that left her in a nursing home, and finally her kids (one of whom lives with us) who suffer from depression. So given all that, you would think I would be a mess, and while it does depress me sometimes when I think about it, I think I am still pretty well-adjusted.
However they aren't the reason I gained weight. Granted I don't have a thyroid and in the beginning that was the start of my weight gain, because up until then I was actually pretty thin. I didn't weigh more than 120lbs in high school. I really started gaining after the birth of my son and couldn't lose it, and then finally the cancer was discovered.
While my lack of thyroid may not help, it isn't the reason why I don't lose weight; I know it is possible because I have done it before. No, my main problem is I like to eat and I don't like to exercise. Period. That being said, it isn't like I will eat a whole pizza or a loaf of bread, or numerous bean sandwiches (ok, I don't eat bean sandwiches at all but I did see it on My 600lb Life once) in one sitting like I have seen and read. I actually eat pretty normal proportions (most of the time) and can get full rather quickly. But other times if the mood strikes me, I can eat cookies and cake and ice cream like nobody's business....very much my downfall, though I do think sugar is addicting. But again, knowing that, it is up to me to do something about it. And let's take exercise....on second thought, let's don't because I hate it.
Bottom line it is my fault. No one else, just me and I accept that. Therein lies the problem with a lot of these people: They don't want to take responsibility for themselves. It is so much easier to blame everything else on their problem rather than look in the mirror (or the doctor who they lie to and say they really don't eat that much anymore...yet the camera shows a different scenario) and tell themselves "Yes, I did this to myself because I like to eat." On the other hand, it seems society is okay with this and even encourages it. Not just with this particular thing but a whole lot of other problems too.
It is all up to me to deal with this and to get the proper mindset to rid myself of this weight. No one else can do it and I don't want people feeling sorry for me for what I have gone through because I don't feel sorry for myself. I actually hate these sob stories I read and see. No I'm not a very sympathetic person, but especially to myself.
So the truth is, I like to eat. And I need to fix it, no one else can do it for me.
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