Or Drink That Water Because That Works. Not.

My brain tells me I am even though my stomach tells me otherwise, though more towards the sweets. That addictive sugar.

Probably not even going to try until June 1st as I am going to California tomorrow until next Tuesday, and plans have already been made about where to eat, etc, so we know what that means and I'm not even going to pretend.

So there ya go.

My Main Problem

That is it in a nutshell. And how do you change that way of thinking? I try, I really do. But it is always one excuse after another why not to, and I recognize that.  And after weighing in this morning, I know I really need to get back on the bandwagon like now because all that hard work I did is coming undone and it is my own fault.

So stop with the excuses and do it.

The Ben & Jerry's Diet

I mean really, a pint is pretty small and equals what, three or so actual scoops of ice cream? On the carton it says 1/2 c. is 260 calories (depending on the kind of ice cream I assume, I am just going with my strawberry cheesecake ice cream and don't ask me how I know this so handily) and there are 4 servings, so that means there are 2 cups of ice cream in that tiny package. And come on, 2 cups isn't really that much (well, except the calorie count...ouch!) Yet I know some ice creams have those really tiny 1/2 cup servings and they just don't seem to be worth it at all.

Kind of makes me wish I didn't like ice cream. Though, I do find myself kind of strawberry cheesecake ice creamed-out now.  

Good, right?

And That's What Makes It hard

Probably Not In This Life Time

But it sure would be nice. That would be the one time I would take all my medicine like I am supposed to.

Can't Even Think About It

With all that is going on I haven't even been trying. I suppose when the dust settles I will but for now...

And Not So Good

I had ice cream for dinner last night. Yeah I did. Things are going from bad to worse in my personal life and so that's what I felt like having. I realize it isn't going to fix anything and if anything make other things worse but at the moment I don't care.


I may have it tonight too (because there is still one left in the freezer).

Not Too Bad

So the weekend is over and I weighed myself this morning and was 3 lbs less than Friday, which is a good thing considering. Honestly though I didn't really go too overboard with the eating and I'm assuming that helped. Didn't drink a lot of water but that isn't surprising as I usually don't, especially on the days I have to drive that 350 miles.

Today I did have Chinese food for lunch, sesame chicken and fried rice and an eggroll. On the bright side I didn't even eat half of any of it, and for dinner I may just have popcorn (hopefully anyway...the way my night went last night I really feel like sitting down and eating Ben & Jerry's strawberry shortcake ice. Hopefully I don't have any in the freezer....).  Also still gotta get that water in though as I didn't drink my usual before-work-water, and I only had enough here for about 32 oz. Definitely have to drink at least 2 big glasses when I get home.

Part of me would really like to change my work schedule to 8 hour days so I could get off at 3 and then either go to the gym or home to exercise, but man do I love my day off.  So that is a hard one to decide.

I have been getting up here at work more often ...small changes into habits...

NC Again

So we're going to NC tomorrow for the weekend because of it being Mother's Day on Sunday.  Which means a weekend of eating too.  It is so much easier for me not to eat a lot when I go by myself and don't have to eat in restaurants.  But when I have people, i.e. kids, Sean Michael and Kyla (and usually Beau but not this time around I think), they want to eat more than once a day.  Dang kids.
lol

I also won't get a lot of drinking water in either I know, which shouldn't be that hard I suppose, but it is. These kind of weekends just screw up everything even though at the moment I wasn't really on a schedule or anything. it's just the thought of it I guess.
And part of it truthfully is I just don't really want to go. These trips are so hard on me, especially when its me having to do all the driving because Hector has to stay home with the dogs since it would be too hard to bring both of them with us.  Well maybe not hard but a pain in the butt.

I'm trying to recover the will power I had when I was in California. I don't know where it went because I was feeling so determined when I came home from there.  I am sure it is partly because I do feel somewhat depressed from Mom dying and it did take a lot out of me.  Yet when I was there taking care of her, I had the will power (well, most of the time) even though the situation wasn't good.  Probably because I wasn't letting myself think about what was actually going to happen, even though of course I knew it was.

Hmmm...maybe I should just go back to California and start all over again.  I am going for 5 days in 3 weeks, but 5 days isn't long enough and  I have plans to eat. So. lol

On the bright side though, I am still chugging the water. :-)  Now just to get this other stuff under control...like no more strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Man I wish I had never heard of it.

Those Darn Allergies!

And who wants that?

Funny But True

This would definitely be me:

Yep. Take 'em off:

Pretty sure I have said that to myself: 

That Dang Sugar

I have to say sugar addiction is real. The other night I wanted something sweet so bad even though I wasn't hungry or anything, but my brain was telling me "Eat ice cream or cookies or cake!" and  so I just knew I had to have something sweet, right then, and almost felt a little crazed if I didn't get it. And of course I did.  As I was eating I just remember thinking about that this was addiction and that it needs to stop. 


But how? That is the big, tough question. How do you stop it. Even doing other stuff doesn't really take my mind off of it; the feeling is still there when I stop doing whatever it is I did to take my mind off of it. Still lurking in the back of my brain, waiting to pop right back out. 


A day or so after that, I happened to read that sucking on a cardoman pod supposedly takes the craving away. The taste of it or something helps with it and you just suck on it and then spit it out. Huh. Interesting. Well I happened to go grocery shopping the next day and there in the spice aisle I saw a jar of cardoman pods, and thought, well, what the heck. Why not? And I tossed them into my basket. 


Have I tried them yet? No. Because I haven't had what I would call a real craving like I did the other day, though I have wanted sweets. But I may try one tonight if I feel the need for something sugary and see what happens. It can't hurt anyway, right?  I kind of wish I had one right now...I want some of that Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Shortcake ice cream....

May 1

A brand new day of a brand new month of a brand new week.

Dinner was fried chicken, potato salad, and baked beans.  Hardly diet food, right?

Yeah, I know.

But there is tomorrow.